Hello my Pepillas and Happy 2018 🙂
Full of crazy memories with glorious ups and dramatic downs, there was one thing really missing from my year and it was y’all.
We all have our phases and I let one of mine affect the things I was passionate about. I didn’t just neglect the blog but my love for writing, theatre and music. I wasn’t really myself.
I can say straight-forwardly that 2017 was a shit show. And not an enjoyable one. Complete with broken friendships, drastic weight loss, heartbreak, the torturous process of applying to college and a pre-mature funeral. Embarrassingly, however, I’ll admit it was mainly because of one reason. A boy.
It’s taken me a year to feel comfortable openly talking about it because I wasn’t completely over it but I’m Gucci now. More than. The only thing I miss is his cat. And his mom’s spaghetti.
It’s so crazy how people can have so much power over you when you give it to them. I mean, I literally failed chemistry because when we stopped talking, I stopped going to class. Lol.
I felt like I wasn’t in control of my feelings, completely putting an idiot in the front seat and behind the wheel.
But after months of feeling sorry for myself and crying every time I wasn’t asleep, I realized that I was the only person who could change my attitude. I began to write again; poetry and music, screenplays, short stories, even random lists – this time allowing my feelings to inspire me instead of paralyzing me. Anything that helped me feel liberated while further exploring and understanding my thoughts and ideas. I learned that I avidly avail alliteration. (Clearly, I’m obsessed.)
And while I still struggle with different degrees of anxiety for other reasons – which almost feels crippling at times – Â I’ve realized that just about everyone else does too. Instead of lying around brooding and dwelling about things I can’t change, I’ve decided to get up and do something about it.
So… now I’m back and better with bigger ideas and bolder stories to tell. And I’m forreal this time.
